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A Bee's Life

Stuff & Nonsense

Stretching Some Shoes

Over the weekend I chanced upon some wicked awesome shoes. They had so much going for them: They were bright orange! They were platform wedges! They were 60% off retail! But, as luck would have it, the last available pair was a half size smaller than my usual. Undeterred, I tried them on. The length of the footbed matched my foot just fine, but the shoes were so tight at the vamp that I could barely squeeze my toes in, leaving my heel dangling off the back. I bought them anyway. Hey, I figured this would make for an excellent opportunity to document how exactly I go about stretching some shoes. Also, omg they’re so cute and make me so tall.  First, I misted the underside of the vamp with several pumps of shoe stretch spray. Then, I inserted the shoe stretchers and adjusted them until they were just a few turns beyond taut. This is a bit difficult to explain, but while adjusting the stretchers, you’ll reach a point when you first begin to feel resistance. In my experience, you don’t want to do too much stretching beyond this point. Even an eighth of an inch can make quite a bit of difference in fit and leather shoes will naturally give and stretch with wear. Remember, you can always stretch shoes just a tiny bit more, but once they’re overstretched, there’s no going back. Anyway, I left the stretchers in the shoes overnight. And in the morning… …they fit! They’re still a bit snug here and there, but it’s nothing a little wear and extra shoe stretch spray can’t fix. I am so happy with them. WOOHOO! WOOHOO!

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categories DIY, Garb
tags cole haan, diy, fashion, platforms, sandals, shoe stretching, Shoes, style, wedges

Closet Organization

Outfit posts are on hold while I figure out how to take a self-portrait. There doesn’t seem to be a good space in the house for it and the back yard attempts failed utterly due to poor lighting and a general lack of photographic know-how.So, today I offer a little peek into my closet and how I’ve chosen to organize it. My closet is, for the most part, chaotic but for the few little havens of organization I’m sharing today. I have a little arsenal of products I like to keep on hand in case of emergencies: products to keep bra straps from falling or boot necks from sinking; products for cleaning and buffing and polishing; products for generally keeping one’s appearance tidy. At some point I will do a post about my favorite products and their uses. It will be thrilling informative.Did you know that the average woman will spend $25,000 on shoes in her lifetime and will own around 470 total pairs of shoes? I did, and to this I say: We really must do something about heart disease, because women must be living some exceptionally short lives. Shoes > leading killer of women FOREVER.Anywho, I like shoes. I like looking at them almost more than I Iike wearing them. The pictures on the boxes help.BELTS. When I think of my belt rack I think of that scene in Wayne’s World where Stacy (Wayne’s ex-girlfriend) gives him a gun rack as a present. “A gun rack? I don’t even own A gun.” Not too long ago, I didn’t even own A belt. Something mysterious and unsettling has happened since then, I guess, but the net result was BELTS.Yes. Fascinating stuff.

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categories DIY, Garb
tags belts, closets, clothes, organization, Shoes

iPad Dream (How the World Will End)

Last night I dreamt that Apple created a speech recognition attachment for the iPad. The attachment was simply held to the lips of the speaker, who silently mouthed his or her intended words, which were then displayed across the iPad screen.The speech recognition attachment was developed for use by those who had lost or damaged their vocal cords, but the attachment soon caught on with young people who wanted an easy means of communicating in noisy places where normal speech was difficult to hear, like nightclubs, crowded restaurants, public transit, etc.

It wasn’t long before the iPad speech attachment became the preferred real-time communication device for pretty much everyone. All previously spoken interactions occurred silently, allowing “speakers” to stay plugged into their iTunes, listening to songs that, over time, contained fewer and fewer spoken words themselves. Spoken language became passé. Vocal cords withered from disuse. Then one day some fantastic catastrophe struck the United States and the general populous was permanently, irrevocably without electricity. [Remember, this was a dream, so point out your plot holes elsewhere.]

Those who had most recently charged their iPads became a sort of elite, able to lead merely because they had the only means remaining to communicate their wants and desires. This didn’t last long, of course, and the moment the last iPad winked out of life, we all turned into animals. Literally: koala bears and ostriches and pumas and weasels, and all of us mute. And then the dream changed and it was just snow. Snow falling, snow in drifts, snow on branches, nothing but snow. I wish I had an iPad.

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categories Thoughts
tags 2012, dream, ipad, snow, words