One Red Dress, Seven Ways – Part Two!

Apologies for the long delay. I very very honestly intended to post this second part in the red dress series the week immediately following the first post, but... stuff. Lots of stuff. Sickness and stuff. Booooo! So, anywho, here's part two of making outfits out of a single red dress. How do you think I did?

Refresher!

First, the red dress in question:I purchased this dress on Amazon for under $30! It arrived in two days! It has pockets! It's machine washable! It's "Fun to Wear!" 

Refresher!

OUTFIT ONE: Never Again

This outfit reminds me of my ill-fated trip to Santa Fe. NEVER AGAIN.What I Added:

• Long bandana-print scarf –J.Crew
• dark denim military jacket – Lauren Ralph Lauren, Bloomingdales
• gold metallic booties – Tipe E Tacchi on Yoox

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OUTFIT TWO: Stop Trying to Make Spring Happen

It has been unseasonably (unreasonably?) cold in San Francisco. Do you think if I wear enough floral patterns I can make Spring come early? Fuck this weather, for reals.What I Added:

• pink floral print top - Zara
• pink faux suede trench – Zara
• yellow leather braided wrap belt – Ada
• red leather sock boots with little stud thingies – Topshop

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OUTFIT THREE: Once Again I Question Your Commitment to Sparkle Motion

I am fucking ecstatic about daytime sequins being a thing.What I Added:

• black and multicolor paillette dress – H&M
• black 3/4-sleeve blazer – Zara
• black suede booties – Taryn Rose on RueLaLa

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OUTFIT FOUR: Holiday Spirit

This outfit made more sense when I put it together back in December. I was going for "xmas tree." I think I more or less pulled it off. Meh.What I Added:

• green plaid silk shirt – Equipment at Nordstrom
• dark denim shell with frayed edges – Gap
• green suede boots – I can't remember the brand, but from Yoox

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OUTFIT FIVE: Leopard and Zippers and Mesh. Oh my!

This feels like a very uncharacteristic "tough" outfit for me. I think I'd have to get myself psyched up just to put it on. Maybe play the Peaky Blinders Spotify playlist. More specifically, The Baddest Man Alive from The Black Keys and RZA:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJ8Gtx45FmcAlthough, now I think I should have put black motorcycle boots with this instead of those fairly tame grey suede ones. They are inadequately badass.What I Added:

• mesh dress – Universal Standard
• grey leopard vest – Jolt on Nordstrom Rack
• grey suede booties – Dolce Vita

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OUTFIT SIX: I Guess I Like Grey

I have a fondness for grey. What does that say about my personality? Anything? It's just a versatile color. Don't judge me.What I Added:

• grey heather tissue turtleneck – JCrew
• grey crepe sleeveless trench – River Island
• embroidered wrap belt – Gap
• grey suede booties – Dolce Vita

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OUTFIT SEVEN: Furry Fury

Not that kind of furry. The other one.What I Added:

• white thermal tee – Gap
• rabbit fur snood – Barneys
• brown faux leather jacket – Bagatelle on Nordstrom Rack
• leather swallow stick pin – Obey
• rabbit fur fingerless mittens – Adrienne Landau on Gilt
• brown combat boots – Dr. Martens

So, yeah. That's part two. Revisiting it now after a few months, I'm less sold on this set than I was the first. But, I think it wasn't half bad! Meh!I hope to get back to blogging more regularly. Fingers crossed.Hope you've been well. 

One Red Dress, Seven Ways – Part One!

Remember that time I challenged myself to style one blue dress in seven different ways? People really responded positively to that post, and, as an individual who craves external validation, I thought I'd take another stab at that formula. In fact, I thought I'd take two stabs.So, this time, I challenged myself to style a single red dress – same make and model as the blue one – in not just seven, but 14 different ways. To make it even more difficult, I prohibited myself from using any of the items – shoes, accessories, jackets, etc. – from the previous challenge.How'd I do? You tell me! Here's Part One!The red dress in question:Like the previous example, I purchased this dress on Amazon for under $30! It arrived in two days! It has pockets! It's machine washable! It's "Fun to Wear!" To the outfits!

OUTFIT ONE: Tan–Talizing (No, I'm not a dad, but thanks for asking!)

For this outfit, I channeled my inner college student. Well, maybe not my inner college student, but an idealized version of a college student – one you might see in Lifetime movie. Maybe she gets her heartbroken by her high school boyfriend but finds strength, independence, and sisterhood after she reluctantly joins a sorority.  You go, girl!What I Added:

• grey sleeveless sweater vest – Gap
• tan cropped jacket – J.Crew
• red crossbody leather bag – Furla
• tan 5050 boots – Stuart Weitzman

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OUTFIT TWO: I'm Beginning to Question Your Commitment to Sparkle Motion

I LIKE SEQUINS. I just think they're neat. I especially enjoy these particular sequins that you can rub in different directions to change colors. It's like a sophisticated version of a hypercolor shirt. Sequins are terrific and we should all wear them all the time.What I Added:

• sequin top – River Island
• denim jacket – Gap
• red leather sock boots with little stud thingies – Topshop

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OUTFIT THREE: Cruise Director

Maybe cruises get a bad rap. I mean, yeah, there's all the crashing and the food-borne illnesses, the waste and pollution and the mindless tourism, but there's also shuffleboard! This is a terrific outfit in which to play shuffleboard!What I Added:

• maxi-twilly scarf – Hermes
• gold mors scarf ring – Hermes
• white cotton poplin wrap blouse – Gap
• gold metallic booties – Tipe E Tacchi on Yoox

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OUTFIT FOUR: Sport-o

You know what I don't do? Sports! But that doesn't mean I can't dress like I do. I can dress however the fuck I want. You don't know me.What I Added:

• black mesh mock-neck top – Forever 21
• blue cropped sweatshirt (I cut the neck off for reasons) – H&M
• "No Pants" enamel pin – PINTRILL
• "Valentine's Day" Insta-Pump Fury sneakers – Reebok

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OUTFIT FIVE: I Am Your Filipino Aunt

When I put this outfit together, I said to myself: "This looks like someone's Asian aunt." And then I realized that I am an Asian aunt. So, I'm pretty sure I can get away with wearing this.What I Added:

• floral print mesh top – Forever 21
• cream turtleneck tunic – Gap
• pearl drop earrings – Majorca via LastCall
• blue "Royale" flats – Free People

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OUTFIT SIX: I'm a Lumberjack and I'm Okay

Did you know I own a plaid shirt? Did you know I own Dr. Martens? These are unusual additions to my wardrobe and I'm pretty excited about them! I feel like I'm growing as a person!What I Added:

• plaid flannel shirt – Old Navy
• navy sleevless jacket – Halogen on Nordstrom
• hand-tooled leather clutch – vintage
• butterscotch "Leona" boots – Dr. Martens

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OUTFIT SEVEN: Red Dead

Not a ton to say about this outfit other than I am SO EXCITED for the upcoming Red Dead Redemption 2. JUST GIVE IT TO ME ALREADY.What I Added:

• red turtleneck sweater – Old Navy
• tan suede should bag – AllSaints
• tan 5050 boots – Stuart Weitzman

Soooooo... whaddaya think?! I really tried to create variety and push myself to make new combinations while still being true to my personal tastes. The real test, of course, will be wearing these outfits IRL. I'll let you know how that goes in future posts.In the meantime, stay tuned for PART TWO! A whole new set of seven outfits built around one red dress is yet to come!Hope you've been having a frank and productive holiday.  

HOLIDAY DRESSING, PART 4: BIRTHDAY

The most important celebration of the holiday season is easily my birthday, December 15th. Pretty sure it's a federal holiday. So, go ahead and skip out on work tomorrow.To help you celebrate, I've put together a little list of Redbubble dresses that are appropriately birthday-themed. Enjoy!Hope you enjoy my birthday! May there be many crazy shenanigans! 

OOTD: Little Red Hearts

Thought I'd counter all that blue with some straight-up red. Bigger pics and outfit details after the cut.

Outfit Details

• red v-neck dress (with pockets!) – Gap
• red blazer with ruched sleeves – H&M
• red beaded necklace – Kenneth Jay Lane on RueLaLa
• sand suede tote – AllSaints
• red and cream, heart-print, d'orsay pumps – Marc Jacobs purchase at Saks Fifth Avenue at least 10 years ago. They're holding up alright because I never wear them. :/

I sure like red, you guys.

One Blue Dress, Seven Ways

I challenged myself to create seven days of outfits out of a single, super cheap blue dress I got on Amazon. How did I do?First, the dress in question:I purchased this dress on Amazon for about $25! It arrived in two days! It has pockets! It's machine washable! SO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS. Bonus: As the product description so helpfully points out, it's "Fun to Wear!" And now... the outfits...

OUTFIT ONE: Go, Sailor!

(Pro-tip: It might help to listen to Go Sailor by Go Sailor while you look at this one.) This is what I would wear to commandeer a ship. Who would dare defy me in this getup? NO ONE.What I Added:

• navy boatneck sweater – J.Crew
• navy double-breasted jacket – Lauren Ralph Lauren at Bloomingdales
• handmade textile necklace – superlittlecute on Etsy
• white leather ballet flats – Avec Les Filles at Bloomingdales

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OUTFIT TWO: Almost Minimalist

I would love to be one of those super sleek, minimalist ladies who always look timeless and chic, but, omg, I LOVE stuff. Spangly, shiny, sparkly stuff! So, I added these fancy earrings for a little extra "me."What I Added:

• charcoal turtleneck sleeveless tunic – Gap
• grey, faux suede trench coat – Zara
• charcoal OTK wedge boots – Stuart Weitzman
• sparkly earrings – Kenneth Jay Lane on Net-a-Porter

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OUTFIT THREE: Outdoorsy

I don't care for camping, but I do enjoy a nice walk in the woods. Trees. Creeks. Maybe a nice squirrel to settle near me and share meaningful glances with. That sounds alright. Here is an outfit I would wear for such an occasion.What I Added:

• olive green button-down shirt – J.Crew
• woven belt – Gap
• cream faux-suede vest – Philosophy on NordstromRack
• cream strappy booties – Dolce Vita

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OUTFIT FOUR: Casual Day

Hey, look! Sneakers! They make me so sneaky. Sneaking here and there and everywhere. I put on these shoes and get up to nefarious doings.What I Added:

• blue scarf (BIG KITTIES!) – Hermes
• black belted sweatshirt – H&M
• embellished leather sneakers – Jeffrey Campbell

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OUTFIT FIVE: Sporty

I am dabbling in bold color combos lately, but find myself always bringing in a neutral because I am a coward. Womp womp.What I Added:

• fuschia turtleneck tee – J.Crew
• white silk organza jacket – Tahari on Ruelala
• white leather ballet flats – Avec Les Filles at Bloomingdales

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OUTFIT SIX: A L'il Bit Country

I am from Texas. I enjoy denim jackets and neckerchiefs. Don't judge me.What I Added:

• light pink scarf (a xmas gift from Ben!) – Hermes
• paladium scarf ring (a birthday gift from Ben!) – Hermes
• light pink denim jacket – H&M
• navy suede maryjanes – Camper

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OUTFIT SEVEN: Color & Texture

And, finally, I found that I had a jacket that was almost the same color as the dress. So, yeah... that. Plus, this awesome handmade scarf/necklace hybrid that is super convenient for someone like me, who is allergic to most metals. :(What I Added:

• handmade long layered necklace/scarf – birdienumnumshop on Etsy
• leather and tweed jacket – Bagatelle at Neiman Marcus
• those embellished leather sneakers again! – Jeffrey Campbell

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And just in case you're a glutton for punishment, here are all the individual images for these outfits:

Sooo... what do you think? How did I do?I must say, this was a great exercise to go through – fun and challenging and effective at making me reconsider my go-to outfit scenarios. Still, there's definitely room for improvement/innovation/experimentation. I'll keep working on it. ;) 

OOTD: In a Gif

I made a gif! Yes, I pronounce it "jif." Here is my reasoning:

1. The creator of the format has said the pronunciation is "jif." He should get a say in the matter.
2. For those who insist it must be a hard g as in "graphics"... How do you pronounce the word "scuba"? Do you say "skuh-ba" for "self-contained UNderwater breathing apparatus?" Or do you say "skoo-ba" like a normal person? Do you call a sim card a "sigh-m card" for “subscriber identification module”? Acronyms are often pronounced differently from the words upon which they're based.
3. Donald Trump says "gif."

Now let's never speak of it again!Still images and outfit info behind the cut.

Outfit Details

• yellow/grey/brown silk dress – Josie Natori via Saks
• grey leather vest – Bagatelle via Neiman Marcus
• grey faux suede trench coat – Zara
• silver slipper mules – Dolce Vita, available on Amazon

Hope you're well! 

OOTD: Yarns

Wore another Redbubble dress and scarf combo out to lunch today. More pics and details behind the cut.

Outfit Details

• "Space" a-line dress and scarf by embroiderrred – Redbubble
• black, long-sleeved mesh t-shirt – H&M
• black denim moto jacket – Gap
• yellow leather saddle bag by Coach – available on Amazon (now 40% off!)
• black, suede, weatherproof boots by Teva – available on Amazon

Hope you're swell!

Holiday Dressing, Part 2: Hannukah

My series on holiday-themed, Redbubble dresses continues! (Find last week's Xmas prints at this link.) Here are eight excellent dresses for something-something-Adam-Sandler-movie-reference-something. 

Still to come: dresses to wear for Festivus, My Birthday (pretty sure that's a national holiday) and New Year's Eve!Hope you're swell!

Holiday Dressing, Part 1: Christmas

Maybe you've noticed my love of Redbubble dresses (examples here, here, here, here, and here). Maybe you'd prefer to call it an obsession. Maybe you should stop judging and get off my back for once. Maybe you're kind of jerk. Maybe you can fuck right off.WAIT! WAIT! Don't go. I'm sorry. Look! I picked out a whole bunch of Christmas-print dresses for you. 12 of them, in fact, for the 12 days of Christmas. Isn't that cute? Forgive me and look at these awesome dresses!BEHOLD!Please send one of each to my home immediately.Anywho, as the title suggests, this is but the first in a series of posts with my picks for holiday dresses. Over the coming weeks, I'll cover Hanukkah, Festivus, Birthdays (because it's almost my birthday), and New Year's Eve! STAY TUNED AND LET'S NEVER FIGHT AGAIN!

OOTD: I Have to Return Some Video Tapes

Dipping my toe back into #ootd posts! Turns out they're a lot easier to pull off when my stupid face isn't in them ruining all the pictures. Hooray!Remember back when I posted about Redbubble? Let me assure you my enthusiasm has not waned. So far, I've purchased 15 different dresses, some with matching scarves. Here's one now!The print is vintage video tapes! If only this dress had my favorite 80s movies – Big Trouble in Little China and G.I. Joe: The Movie – it would be the ultimate garment.Anywho, I wore this outfit for an afternoon of goofing around the SF MoMa with the always awesome Candace of The Real Food Effect. Good times were had by all.

Outfit Details

• Yellow faux-suede jacket from Zara
• 80's VHS Tapes dress from Super-Tees on Redbubble
• Leather clutch from Leah Lerner on Etsy
• Waterproof Teva booties from Amazon (perfect for a rainy day and standing around for hours on end)

Hope you've been swell! 

DIY: Custom Printed Dresses

Maybe this is news to no one, but did you know you could have super cute dresses printed from your own photographs? I only found out over the weekend and it continues to blow my damn mind. Isn't technology amazing, you guys? WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?Needless to say, I've been very busy ripping up construction paper and taking pictures to create my own, one-of-a-kind prints. Look at me! I'm a textile designer!Pics and links behind the cut.All of these were created on Redbubble. It is incredibly easy to upload your own images and make any variety of objects – clothing items, prints, accessories, etc. – with your prints. Just makes sure your images are enormous. There's information about dimensions and formats right here.Anywho, just wanted to share what I think is an insanely awesome development in the world of on-demand, customized everything. The future is now!Oh, and I've also uploaded hella old photographs to make stuff out of. If you're curious, you can see my entire "portfolio" at this link.

Matchy Matchy

After last week's spot-on color matching of shoes to dress, I began to wonder what other items I own that might coordinate so perfectly. It turns out I have a lot of inexplicably, perfectly matching clothing items. How? Why? It can't be that clothing/shoe/accessory manufacturers all collude to favor a given palette each season/year (despite what Pantone would have you believe) – many of these items were purchased several years apart. Is it simply that *I* favor particular colors? No way. That can't be. I'm, like, a complex and ever-evolving woman whose tastes are informed by and are a reflection upon the zeitgeist... YEAH!Or, I just really like blue.[Vince Camuto dress, Bagatelle leather & tweed jacket, Baggu clutch, Donald J. Pliner platform sandals, vintage belt purchased on Etsy.]

Can Fatty Wear Horizontal Stripes?

stripes_edit

keystonekapers

Yeah, I think I can! I am not usually a fan of stripes. There's something sort of juvenile about them to me. Juvenile or prison-y. Stripes belong on children and old-timey, keystone kapers inmates. This dress gets a pass, though, because the stripes are not true stripes – they're all stylized and wiggley. Maybe all this busy busy is what's helping me get away with the look. That, and the blazer to streamline my more troublesome areas. Overall, I'd say it works out.Bonus: Shoes I've never worn are being put too good use! It's bizarre how perfectly they match the dress. [Wearing: H&M blazer, Vince Camuto dress, Patrizia Motta shoes]

Crazy Hair, Don't Care

I think I've mentioned before that I always put my hair up when I know I'm going to be outside for any length of time. The above is what happens when my hair thingie breaks on my way home.To be honest, it's not a half-bad look. Maybe a little frizzy, but I do love myself some big hair.P.S. A post with my hair down means one more week without cutting my hair. Woohoo![Wearing: Michael Kors dress, Taryn Rose sandals, Mimic Designs clutch.]

So I Guess I Own a Vest

If there's one thing I never thought I'd be, it's a person who owns a vest. Growing up in the Texas panhandle, vests had fairly specific and unironic use cases: working at a hardware store, going to the rodeo, being a mom at Xmas. So, naturally, as I'm not particularly inclined toward any of these activities, I find myself genuinely surprised to be now in possession of a vest. Who am I? What have I become? And, what exactly do I do with this vest?Today, I endeavored to answer all of these questions, but the first one turned out to be really hard and the second one kinda depended on answering the first. So, I settled on answering just this last question by attempting three separate outfits using my vest. "My vest." What a strange and alien phrase. I'm glad I'm only typing it. I doubt I could speak it aloud.Anywho, since I'm only a beginner at this whole wearing-of-vests thing, I elected to simplify the effort further by wearing the same boots with each outfit. And the same hair. And the same makeup. And no accessories. So... yeah, I kinda only switched out the dress each time. That still counts, right? C'mon, I'm learning.How'd I do?First Attempt: Eliza J DressFor my first attempt, I picked a really simple boatneck dress I got sometime last year, but never got around to wearing. (In fact, this is the first time I've worn any of the dresses in this post.) While I think the color combination came out alright, I just felt really... covered up. Now, there's certainly nothing wrong with dressing "modestly," but I fear that I have taken to "covering up" as a response to my discomfort with my body. That's something I'd like to remedy.

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Second Attempt: Fuzzi Dress (Purple)For my second attempt, I picked a slightly more revealing v-neck Fuzzi dress with sheer sleeves. I admit that this is hardly revealing by the average person's standards. But, if you know me at all, you may have noticed that I never expose my upper arms. This is thanks to some unpleasant scars that folks always feel the need to comment on. When I chose this dress, I had hoped that the sleeves would obscure the scars enough to go unnoticed. Not so much. So, full disclosure: I photoshopped out my scars. Still, I felt like the overall outfit came out fairly well and was definitely a step outside my comfort zone. (Did I mention the arms thing?)

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Third Attempt: Fuzzi Dress (Blue)For my final attempt, I figured "fuck it," and went not only for the sheer sleeves, but also the very deep v-neck of the most form-fitting dress I own. I thought I might be able to pull it off as the vest would offset and/or disguise my most troublesome area (see: big ole belly). You know what? I think it kinda worked. I might even feel comfortable enough to wear this outfit outside the house. Vest magic!Perhaps I've misjudged vests and the ownership thereof. Perhaps I'm wrong about a lot of things. Perhaps I should reevaluate other of my long-held beliefs and prejudices.Or not. It's just a vest.[In all outfits: Bagatelle leather vest and Stuart Weitzman boots.]

Letting My Hair Down

I have a habit of always putting my hair up in some sort of claw or clampy thing. I adopted it when I was taking public transit and/or walking to work all the time and just didn't want my hair blowing in my face all willy-nilly. But, it's gotten to the point where my hair is almost always up and that just needs to stop. Why even bother having such long hair if I'm just going to pile it on top of my head for none to see?I'm going to make an effort to wear my hair down at least once a week. If I can't do that, then I should probably just cut it short. Deal?Anywho, wearing yet another Leota dress and another pair of Stuart Weitzman boots (this time with a wedge heel). Kinda felt like the print of the dress was too busy to add accessories, but perhaps a solid white scarf would have been a nice addition. Next time...

Big Plaid Scarf

This scarf is ginromous. It is pretty much a blanket. It has its own zip code. Lesser scarves are trapped in its gravitational pull, only to be crushed, devoured, and absorbed into its own supermassive core. You do not wear this scarf, it wears you. It is also plaid.In a bit of a hurry this morning. Wearing another Leota dress (I love Leota dresses... so comfy), Calvin Klein jacket, Stuart Weitzman boots (again), and a big plaid scarf from the oldest corners of the universe.

Back in the Saddle

A few years ago, I vowed to start taking outfit pics of myself every week for a year in an effort to 1) become more comfortable in front of a camera, 2) come to terms with my size/weight and 3) put more effort into getting dressed. That first attempt lasted about a month. But, hey, what a month! Let's hear it for unrealistic expectations!In the spirit of the new year and all that that entails, I'm revisiting the outfit pics project with newfound vigor and determination. At the very least, I intend it to last longer than a month. Let's hear it for realistic goals!Anywho, today I am wearing a Leota Amelia dress in Day at the Races (purchased on super sale via Rue La La), a Daniel Rainn jacket (via Hautelook), and some Stuart Weitzman 5050s (via SaksOff5th). There's some jewelry and even a handbag in there, but you can't really make them out. :/Happy new year, etc.